Sunny Wellness of Honey

5-Minute Read

Hey Sunny Bees —

First off, I owe you an apology. I haven’t been posting as much lately, and it’s not for lack of wanting to. Life has been… well, life-ing. I know I’m not the only one trying to keep twelve tabs open (both metaphorically and literally) while also remembering to drink water, respond to texts, and pretend that “self-care” isn’t just code for collapsing in bed at 8:30 PM.

But I’m back today with something soft. Something brave. Something a little scary for most of us: vulnerability.

Softness ≠ Weakness

Let’s clear this up right now. Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is softness—and softness is a strength.

Weakness is what happens when we collapse under pressure. Softness, on the other hand, is what lets us bend without breaking. Think about it like this: metal is hard, but it shatters. Fabric is soft, but it absorbs, flexes, and adapts. Which one do you think survives better in a storm?

From a cognitive-behavioral lens, vulnerability is often where growth begins. It’s the willingness to feel, to try, to fail in public. It’s taking a risk in service of your values. That’s not weakness. That’s courage. That’s emotional exposure in real time.

The Fear of Vulnerability: An Anxiety Amplifier

When we fear vulnerability, we don’t just avoid tough conversations—we start avoiding ourselves. The internal monologue becomes one of self-surveillance:

• “What if they think I’m too much?”
• “What if I cry and can’t stop?”
• “What if being real makes them leave?”

These “what ifs” are classic cognitive distortions (hello, catastrophizing), and they drive anxiety, perfectionism, and emotional avoidance. Left unchecked, this fear of being known can morph into loneliness, irritability, relationship breakdowns, and even depression.

Avoiding vulnerability is a short-term strategy with long-term consequences. Like all things in CBT, avoidance might feel better now—but it makes everything harder later.

For Women Especially…

Let’s get real: women are often conditioned to be caretakers, emotional containers, and masters of emotional suppression. You’re told to “keep it together,” “be strong,” and “don’t let them see you sweat.” And while there’s nothing wrong with strength, a strength that doesn’t allow for softness becomes brittle.

You deserve relationships—romantic, familial, professional—that allow for the full range of you. Not just the polished, productive, Instagram-version. The messy, real, vulnerable version, too.

So How Do You Practice Vulnerability Safely?

Let’s keep it practical. Here are three CBT-informed ways to start experimenting with softness:

1. Name It to Normalize It
   Try this: Next time you feel an emotional wave coming, say (out loud or in your head), “This is me being vulnerable. This is me choosing courage.” The act of naming reduces shame and grounds you in intentional behavior.
2. Use the “Safe Person” Strategy
   Choose one emotionally safe person. Test the waters with a small truth—“I’ve been feeling off lately” or “I’m nervous sharing this.” Vulnerability builds like a muscle. Start small. Be consistent.
3. Challenge Your Avoidance Beliefs
   Write down the belief that says, “If I’m vulnerable, [X] will happen.” Then test it. Use a behavioral experiment to gather real-world data. Did the bad thing happen? Was it as bad as you predicted?

And Men—You’re Invited, Too

While this post is geared toward women, men aren’t exempt from the vulnerability struggle. You’ve been sold your own brand of “be strong, be silent.” This invitation includes you. Emotional bravery is human, not gendered.

Final Thought: Softness Is Survival

Vulnerability is not a liability; it’s your superpower. It doesn’t make you breakable—it makes you whole. The world doesn’t need more armored humans. It needs more honest ones.

So here’s your reminder, sunny bee: being soft is not the opposite of being strong. It’s how you become strong in the first place.